Of course, I don't want my cheeriness to be intimidating because I realise that, to other human beings, being attacked with an onslaught of punctuation and prosodic features (AHA, TAKE THAT ENGLISH GCSE!) just isn't that pleasant. Especially, when it's raining and you're having to sort through a heap of paperwork on Monday morning.
Unfortunately, I feel a need to get my tone across on the internet which consists of: BE MY BEST FRIEND! Without exclamation marks, I feel extremely dull. I often question, HOW are people meant to see that I honestly love people and want to be nice! What if I sound hostile? What if I sound ungrateful when I'm really thinking I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER FOR GIVING ME THIS OPPORTUNITY? These are pressing matters.
Then there are the opposite feelings: What if they hate me because I sound too happy? What if they can never stand to email me again because as soon as they see my name they think. Oh NO. It's exclamation mark girl again. What if they have an alarm in their office which just locks down upon receipt of my emails? Okay, so I'm exaggerating a bit here, but no amount of exclamation marks can make the WHAT! IFS! seem happy.
So then begins the long, tedious project of being selective of which sentence should receive the exclamation and then how many. As my Year 6 English teacher still likes to echo in my head 'NO MORE THAN TWO'. I think I may be afraid to press that button a third time. ;)
Then some days, the inspiration strikes. The unicorns inside me refuse to back down and it results in the exclamation marks being set free to roam the internet. And you know what? I feel like it should be my mission to just sit on people's shoulders and convince them to use that third exclamation mark. You see!!! It's easy!!! I can even do four!!!! FEEL THE POWER.
So tell me- do you do this too or is it a process strictly reserved for me?! :)